


Ricki Lake by Erynn

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: First Times, Humor, M/M, None - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 03:21:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/793448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Megan watches Ricki Lake</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ricki Lake by Erynn

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry to all of you who read this. I couldn't help it,

## Ricki Lake

by Erynn

Author's disclaimer: The usual: Not mine (don't I wish?)Not making money, please don't sue me etc. etc. 

the voices wouldn't leave me alone 

* * *

Ricki Lake 

"Hi, everybody, welcome to today's show. I'm Ricki Lake. Today we have some guests who would like to say to their lovers "You're real great but I don't love you - I love your son." 

Well what do you know, another midday talk show. I swear I'm gonna go crazy before I get back to work. I mean, I thought being a cop was hard, but being an invalid? Well, anyway, ever since that stupid accident I've been stuck at home. It would never have happened if Sandy hadn't been there. Not that he wasn't helping of course, but you know, If he hadn't tried to be hero in front of Jim, I would never had to take that bullet. I value MY life, even if the crooks don't. 

If Sandy had taken that bullet, I would be dead right now! If there's one thing I know, it's that the person who kills him, Is gonna die, by Jim's hand. By proxy, letting him die is about the same thing. Me and the guy who pulled the trigger, we would share a grave. 

So I take the bullet. And I'm stuck at home watching Ricki Lake. Of course now Sandy owes me big. 

I just wish that Jim would realise how much Blair means to him. Those two are meant to be together. I know it, and Sandy knows it, but does Jim know it? NO, of course not! He has to go and get this thing for Naomi Sandburg. I mean, please, how obvious can you get? Blair was heartbroken when he found out they were dating. I listened to him for hours after he came home to find them in BED! I mean, really, what type of an image is that for a lovesick young anthropologist? Yeacch! That is all I can say. 

So anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, I don't love you, I love your son. Oh, come on, what kind of a title is that for a show? The first couple are ridiculous, this woman must be seventy! The older guy is only fifty or so, and the son is about twenty! Do they really expect us to believe that these are real people? Hey, I'm the first to admit that age is not a real big deal, but fifty years is a generation gap, or two. How can they have anything in common? And please oh God, no now they're talking about the sex! That is so not a picture I want to keep. Okay Connor, think nice thoughts, Jim, Blair, naked, together, ohh that's better! 

Man, I really need a life. Of course, it would help if I could move more than one inch at a time. 

That isn't ...... oh dear, I'm hallucinating, help me it's...... him.... it's Jim! On Ricki? I am dreaming, right? This is insane! I knew time off would drive me crazy! I have to talk to Simon now! 

"Hello Major Crimes, Captain Banks speaking." 

He sounds a bit busy. Maybe I should come back, - I glance at the T.V. for a bit and my God, there's Naomi! She's crying. 

"Simon? It's Connor. I have to get back to work NOW! Please, I'll do paperwork, anything, I'm going crazy here! "Megan, calm down, what's wrong? Can we do this later? I'm a bit short what with Jim and Blair away, and you injured." 

"Well there you go. You need me! Just get me out of here now!" 

Taking another look at the telly, I panic, there's Blair! No, I'm insane, hallucinating, I have to get back to work! 

Stifling a scream I turn back to the phone. "Please Simon, Just let me come in.. I'm begging you!" A little part of me says 'My girl you are pathetic, begging to go back to work' . The rest of me is just quivering in fear. I don't want to be insane. 

"Megan, get a grip. What's wrong?" He sounds worried, "What is going on over there?" 

"I was just sitting here. Watching Ricki Lake, poor, sad, lonely, me. Anyway, I'm just sitting here, minding my own business, when on the television, Jim appears. Now I know I'm seeing things, so I thought, if I came back to work-" 

"What? Jim on Ricki Lake? You're kidding?" He's getting up now and walking away from the phone, leaving me alone with that television! 

"Simon! Come back here! NOW!" They're kissing, on National T.V.! Jim is all over Blair, and Hell, that is just as potent as I thought it would be, looks like Blair is going to melt all over him. Oohhh.... that's just lovely, I'm just gonna keep that image in my head for a long time now. 

There is silence on the other end of the phone, then a quiet "Wow." 

"Wow? What are you talking about? What wow? I'm going insane and all you can say is Wow? Help me, Simon!" 

He clears his throat, sounds rather uncomfortable actually, and his voice is lower than I remember, very sexy. "You're not going mad, Connor. That actually happened." 

What? "What!?" I can't believe Simon is agreeing with me. 

"That...ummm...that kiss, was real. I saw it too." 

"You're not really trying to tell me that Jim actually......." My voice trailed off, as I realised. "Wow." My eyes return to the screen of their own accord. Jim and Sandy are still there, locked, mouth to mouth, hip to hip. The male half of the audience look like they are about to come out of the closet, most of them not having known they were in it. The females are just drooling. I am getting very hot here. 

"Yeah. Wow. Ahh, Connor?" His voice is really extremely sexy. 

"Yeah, Simon?" I ask dreamily, my eyes glued to the screen. 

"Umm, I was wondering, exactly, how bad is that injury?" 

* * *

Laughter, Love, and Life  
Erynn

* * *

End Ricki Lake.


End file.
